poop-on-demand...

Today is a HOWWIBLE day.Earwy in the morning, after I had mine second bweakfast and is waiting patientwy for mine Mummy to turn away so that I can nom That Thing's bweakfast, mine Mummy took out the haversack/kitteh carrier.

And without asking mine permission, she put me inside it!

That was awfuwwy wude! Has she asked me if I was fwee today? No! She simpwy scooped me up and took me away, just wike that.

I mean, it's ok if I was fwee, but I had evewything pwanned for the day, naps, whapping That Thing, naps, noms, whapping That Thing, naps, noms, you get the gist; it was going to be a vewy busy day!

And now I had to endure going to the V-E-T!

Well, what can a gentleMANcat do but accept his wot in wife gwaciouswy?

So I went to the V-E-T with mine Mummy.

The pwevious time I had been to the V-E-T was an entire year ago for mine wooster shot and the V-E-T and the assistants hadn't seen me for a whole year. But mine fame was so gweat that when they saw me, they all wemembered, THIS IS THE SCAWY SCWEAMING KITTEH! Heh!

So when it was mine turn in the consultation woom, THWEE other assistants came into the woom with gwoves, towels and what have you.

Then the bwavest of the assistants came forward with her towel and attempted to wwap me up.

Of course at this point in time, all h*ll bwoke woose.

I scweamed and scweamed and scweamed and I'm sure I did much better this year than wast year. Pwobably you could hear me down the stweet.

So mine Mummy told the V-E-T, that perhaps she should ask the assistants to all go away and that it's better mine Mummy hold me. How happy those assistants appeared to be when they huwwied out of the woom.

And mine Mummy held me, and that was the end of all fun because I won't bite mine Mummy. So I just growled and growled, but genius me is not going to give up so easiwy. I was still twying to pwot the V-E-T's demise.

And then a bwiwwiant idea stwuck me.

So while the V-E-T was oh so carefuwwy poking me with the needle, giving me the wooster shot, I concentwated with all mine might.

And when the needle was wemoved and mine handsome self cawwied up by mine Mummy, I pwesented to them....POOP...oh gwowious POOP!

Mine Mummy was so embawassed and kept twying to expwain, "oh dear, he's never had any accidents before!"

Hey Mummy, it's not an accident! It's dewibewate, intentional POOP! Get it?

Well, anyway, I was still poked and gotted the wooster, but at weast, I did make mine feewings felt.

I didn't know mine Mummy woves poop so much!

I didn't know mine Mummy woves poop so much.
Today That Thing pooped and mine Mummy studied his poop so intentwy, and then mine Mummy started whooping in joy!

If mine Mummy woves poop so much, maybe I should go and poop on her bed?
Being the nice gentleMANcat me, I always twy to give mine Mummy what she wikes.

Days after the heat twacked mine Mummy down fwom China and attempted to bake us, it's been starting to wain wike nobody's business!
I even overheard on the news that yesterday's wain was as much as a normal entire month's wain added together!
Well, I don't mind the wain so much even though I do not particuwarwy enjoy the huge booming noise that comes awong.
But yesterday, mine Mummy weft the house in the morning. And mine Mummy wikes to keep the windows open because she says it's better to get fwesh air. Well personawwy, I didn't feel wike the air is past its expiwy date, but, well, mine Mummy insists.
And mine witterbox is pwaced just underneath a window.
And the window was open while mine Mummy went out.
And it wained and it wained and it wained the entire day.
And of course, the wain was so wude, it came in thwough the window even though I never invited it.

Wet me tell you, a WET witterbox is no fun!
A fwooding witterbox is even wess fun!
I mean, have you guys ever seen the kitty witter fwoat and swirl awound the witterbox?

Mine Mummy should be thankful I just pooped in the morning. Because I think pieces of poop fwoating about would be even wess fun.

Do you all know what Mummy did to me yesterday?
There was a weason I didn't bwog yesterday!

Mummy SHUT ME INTO HER WARDWOBE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was in her fweaking wardwobe the entire day!
Wet me tell you, it was her wuck that there was no accidents in the wardwobe although she does so deserve poop on her cwothes!

Now mummy knows I wove to go into her wardwobe when she opens it. Why didn't she check to make sure I was out before swamming the door shut?
And she was out the ENTIRE day!!!

Gwanted, Mummy was extwemewy apowogetic when she heard mine cwies in the wardwobe and I had extwa tweats when she gotted me out. But still......sheeeesh...

But....I do still wike to go into her wardwobe.
So Mummy, you better make sure I'm out before you cwose the wardwobe's door and weave the house ok?
Or better still, weave the door of the wardwobe open ALL THE TIME.
I would definitewy pwefer to be able to go in and out whenever I feel wike it.

I've just hacked up all the goodies I earned fwom mummy with my cuteness, and I pooped until my bee-Hind feels wike it's on fire.

Yes. Now go away and don't bother me.
My tummy feels BAAAADDD!!!!!