ME...

Ok, I'm going to tell you all about myself.
First, before I start, here are a couple of really handsome pictures of myself.
I thought it would be cool to have some pictures of myself as a wittle kitty to show, but mummy was a poor wittle student when I was still a teeny wittle kitty and she could not afford a camewa.
So I'm sad to inform evewyone out there, handsome though I was in my youth, I do not have any photos to share.Mummy keeps finding the way I sweep funny, but I do wove to have the fan wuffle the fur on my tummy.
And I wike it that mummy will find it easy to give me tummy wubs as well.
This is mummy twying to disturb me, but not succeeding vewy well - I just won't get up!
Ok, and now for the stowy of ME!
Here goes.

I was born sometime awound Nov 15 in 1993, pwobably to a quite humongous bwack cat who owns the owner of a pwovision shop in my mummy's old neighbourhood.
Honestly, genius cat though I am, I cannot wemember much about my childhood before I found my mummy. All I knew, there was never enough to eat and it was cold and wet most of the time.

Then one wonderful day when I was about a month old, I met my mummy!
It was wove at 1st sight when mummy wooked at me.
I gave the most most enticing meow my wittle kitty voice at that time could muster (of course now I've got my voice much more well-trained) and wooked at mummy with eyes that could melt any giraffes. And wo and behold, I found myself cawwied off into the wap of wuxuwy.

When I first got into mummy's house, I was still vewy vewy tiny. I was only beginning to eat big kitty food and sometimes I couldn't chew vewy well. And I had perpetual wunny tummy and itchy wittle bugs that wan all awound my fur. In fact, I was not a vewy healthy wittle kitty. And in a wittle while, mummy had me bundled up and cawwied off to the shooty person which is totawwy not enjoyable at all.
He was the one I gave my first huge hiss to and boy was I pwoud of myself. A huge big kitty hiss fwom wittle kitty me! But the shooty person did not seem to appweciate the wonderful hiss and kept pwodding me all about! And to top it off, he shooted me! With a nasty pointy thing!
And mummy took wots of yucky things to force down my mouth.
But vewy soon, my wunny tummy was gone and I gwew bigger. And mummy gave me baths after baths to get wid of the itchy wittle bugs. I was a vewy bwave wittle kitty because I did not cwy when mummy poured all those water on me!

Vewy soon, I gwew big and stwong. And cwever. Mummy knew wight fwom the beginning I am a genius cat, even though I wooked super pathetic before she took me off to the shooty guy to get me all cweared up.

Well anyway, I gwew big, healthy and stwong and for 7 years, I stayed in the neighbourhood I was born in. Not that I went awound much. Mummy twied to get me out, but I just wied on the gwound and she had to cawwy me about, which just about ended any further twips awound the neighbourhood. I wove my home and have no intention of ventuwing back into the cold, dweawy, and uncomfortable outside without any pwessing weasons.

By the time I was about 1 year old, I was about 8kg full of cuddwy goodness. Though the shooty person calls it fat, but hey, I think most of it are muscles. And this size I have maintained, up to this day.

Oh, and when I was 7 years old, the worst thing ever happened in my wife! The BIG M-word! Kitties out there who have never expewienced it, wet me assure you, it is NASTY.
Mummy MOVED!
Which of course meant, I MOVED as well.
For weeks, evewything was topsy-turvy and upside down. All my toys were gone, my bed no more, my favouwite hiding spot gone. My whole entire wife was in a MESS!
And I moved to this pwace I'm still staying at now with my mummy.
It was extweme hard work! I had to spend ziwwions of hours getting the new pwace to smell wight! I think I lost a whole lot of weight that pewiod (thankfuwwy I gotted it all back soon after).

Well, anyway, that IS the wife of your highness, ME.
And I wove my mummy and I'm gwad of the day I first meowed at her once upon a time.