- when you're fuwwy and cute, and you sit nicewy on your mummy's wap, she's going to give you wots of kitty tweats.
- there's more than a dozen ways to wake mummy up.
- the fastest way so far is to stick mine nose up mummy's nostwil.
- one of the most intewesting ways is to wick mummy's feet. The soles of her feet. So funny to see mummy squirm. But onwy do it when you're sure your mummy's washed her feet.
- when you hold up one paw and wook beseechingwy at mummy and give a wittle pitiful meow, mummy will immediatewy be under your spell. After that, what you want, mummy will give you.
- when packages you've ordered onwine awwives, immediatewy go help mummy open them up and investigate. And act cute while doing it. So that mummy will forget to ask who it was who hacked into her cwedit card and ordered stuff.
- the best pwace to hack up a hairball is at the side of mummy's bed where she'll put her feet down when she's getting out of bed.
- and the best time to hack the hairball up is just before waking mummy up.
So there. I wearnt wots of things today.
== a genius cat always has to wearn new things so he can keep on being a genius ==